Waking up from a wet dream you don’t remember till you start brushing your teeth is one thing I can get past since they happen from time to time. What I can’t get past right now is the rare moments where I walk into one of my college classes and seeing ********** thinking, “Wow. She looks really beautiful today.” Now I feel that it would be confusing to continue my rant without elaboring on the emotions that have come about from seeeing ********* and thinking her to be looking extravagant troublesome, so i’ll sum it up in a sentence: The bitch lied to me and played me like a fiddle.
I don’t hate her. Hell I don’t even have ill will towards her or her boyfriend. But I have been trying to get rid of the feeling of attraction to her looks for more than 7 months now. It makes me cringe every time these feelings come about for this beautiful young artist.
“But Davain, if you don’t hate her for beating you like a bongo, why do you hate the feeling of attraction towards her?” Great question audience! I’ll sum this up in a sentence too: She’s a lying bitch who played me like af fiddle.
Every time I feel something, anything towards her, it reminds me of my past self when I lied to everyone and giving people a fake me so I could manipulate situations in my favor. But she trumps my lies and manipulations out of the water, mainly because I gave that shit up back in my senior year of high school. Shes continued it since high school till now and it shows in her eyes, her facial expressons, her foot movements, her head jerks, EVERYTHING. She tries to hide it all behind her farce of being clueless and helpless…it sickens and saddens me. I understand her more than anyone else in this school, even more than her boyfriend, yet she has closed off her true personality to everyone. I was lucky enough to have time to really get to know her…to see the real ********* and i’ll never ever forget that girl. But that lying bitch I have to see day after day and seldom thinking her beautiful will never sit pretty in my mind.
She’s right there…why am I not screaming in her face to wake up?