Source: autobeeJust uploaded 1 new photo(s) on Flickr. http://bit.ly/nWKLkl
OMO FUCKING DAKA
the single greatest thing i have ever seen in my life. no picture or video is a quarter of a facsimile. transcendence so much that saying “beyond transcendence” would make it look hyperbolic and it isn’t
As stated in the beginning, “OMO FUCKING DAKA” is really one of the few ways to describe the beauty of the performance this picture is from. I can’t wait to type my experience about it!
When you are mad at something and you just happen to be at an indie rock show that has sub-par moshing and an opportunity to take the mic and scream it is a good night…well sort of. It amazes me that even after all the reason that come up as to why I’m not with ******** anymore I still give a rats ass about her. She’s nice, shes smart, she has the capability of doing great things…but there’s one flaw that she has that for some reason doesn’t overshadow the good: She’s lethargic as hell!
Why oh why do I go out of my way to spend time with her? Reading my own mind it’s mostly because I want to help her to stop being so god damn spoiled. Can’t really happen though since her current boyfriend is a boyfriend first and friend later. Sad but it’s true no matter how nice they get.
This needs to be erased from existence (by this I refer to this night, these reason, this blog itself).
Waking up from a wet dream you don’t remember till you start brushing your teeth is one thing I can get past since they happen from time to time. What I can’t get past right now is the rare moments where I walk into one of my college classes and seeing ********** thinking, “Wow. She looks really beautiful today.” Now I feel that it would be confusing to continue my rant without elaboring on the emotions that have come about from seeeing ********* and thinking her to be looking extravagant troublesome, so i’ll sum it up in a sentence: The bitch lied to me and played me like a fiddle.
I don’t hate her. Hell I don’t even have ill will towards her or her boyfriend. But I have been trying to get rid of the feeling of attraction to her looks for more than 7 months now. It makes me cringe every time these feelings come about for this beautiful young artist.
“But Davain, if you don’t hate her for beating you like a bongo, why do you hate the feeling of attraction towards her?” Great question audience! I’ll sum this up in a sentence too: She’s a lying bitch who played me like af fiddle.
Every time I feel something, anything towards her, it reminds me of my past self when I lied to everyone and giving people a fake me so I could manipulate situations in my favor. But she trumps my lies and manipulations out of the water, mainly because I gave that shit up back in my senior year of high school. Shes continued it since high school till now and it shows in her eyes, her facial expressons, her foot movements, her head jerks, EVERYTHING. She tries to hide it all behind her farce of being clueless and helpless…it sickens and saddens me. I understand her more than anyone else in this school, even more than her boyfriend, yet she has closed off her true personality to everyone. I was lucky enough to have time to really get to know her…to see the real ********* and i’ll never ever forget that girl. But that lying bitch I have to see day after day and seldom thinking her beautiful will never sit pretty in my mind.
She’s right there…why am I not screaming in her face to wake up?
It surprises me that I can wake up every morning, look at the clock, decide that I will get up and then have an hours time feel like 5 seconds passing by. This happens more than it should for a few reasons. Some of them are
1.Not having parental figures to push my ass out of bed (I’ve been conditioned, sadly).
2.The feeling of being at home is much too relaxing for me to give a shit about my work
3.My mind wants to wander off into it’s creative prowess much longer than it should
The last one is definitely a big(er) problem than the other two since they can be dealt with simply by moving out. But the last one is much harder since it’s my subconscious wanting my body to stay in sleep mode so the brain can use more of its processing power on imagining and less of it on motor functions. This has been going on for as long as I can remember (which is around the start of 6th grade) and it’s always a fun thing to toy around with. Being in the state between sleep and awake (Lucid Dreaming I believe…yes I just looked it up) gives for an interesting experience especially when my mind wanders off enough during the day. Just to give examples of things i’ve created, back when I was in the middle of junior high I started dreaming one night about a grocery store filled with Halloween type characters and Daffy Duck. The reason for being there, other than putting groceries in my cart, was to find these blue jewels littered all over the store. Their purpose eludes me today, but it was really fun trying to find all of them while conversing with the other characters inside my world. Then the abrupt “Wake up Davain!” came rushing through my door and my world almost immediately evaporated. Pissed that I didn’t get to finish my quest I forced myself to go right back to sleep and dream about the events once more. Surprisingly it worked and I found all the Jewels!
Y’know that was also the first experience of me being able to Lucid Dream…just noticed that after I gave it a quick read through. Anyways this is a fun yet problematic flaw in my morning practices. Maybe I’ll learn to motivate myself to get out of bed and write down my ideas instead of letting them dissipate into the depths of my mind. And then maybe I’ll learn to save my cash so I can move from home…yeaaaaaaah.
